Bless Your Inflow and Outflow

I love being paid for what I do.

I imagine you do, too. The other day I was working with a phenomenal healer and at the end of our session, she reminded me how I could pay her. The thing is, I already had. 

I reminded her that I had paid her and she said, "Oh that's right! Thank you! That never happens...." This surprised me, though I think it's more common than I might expect. 

This beautiful woman didn't know that I work with women around money, wealth and investing. I told her my philosophy and teaching on paying and getting paid - she loved it. If you've worked with me, may this be a timely reminder. If you haven't, may this bless the flow of money in, and out of, your life. 

When money flows in

My ideal client profile includes, "Women entrepreneurs who love to pay me, pay me promptly and love the work we do together." In seven years of coaching, this is always true, because if it's not true, well, that's not an ideal client and I only work with ideal clients. 

Being connected to your money in meaningful ways allows you to honor the flow that is coming to you and your desire to invite in more flow. When money arrives to me for the work I do (or in other other ways) I always say, "Thank you." I send a blessing to the person who is investing in themselves through our work and I say thank you to the spirit and nature of money for flowing to me so I can increase the wealth in my life and my community by investing in my business, my life and my deepest held values. 

When money flows out

This is exactly the same as when money flows in, but in the opposite direction.  When I am paying someone else or for coaching, or my utilities or my mortgage, guess what? I love to pay, I pay promptly and I deeply value the services being provided. In fact, if I don't want to pay, that is a signal that maybe I don't really want what I'm paying for (so I cut that out). 

When I send the money, I say thank you to the spirit and nature of money for being available to support what I deeply desire and value. I send a blessing to the provider and consider what I receive for the money. I visualize the flux and the flow of money as it comes to me, goes to them and out and beyond to places unseen by me, to support the lives of many. 

I have found this a powerful practice which develops a deeper relationship not only to your money (and often increases it's flow) but also highlights the places where money may be leaking and where your outflow is deeply aligned with your values (also known as an investment in what you really want). 

You are invited

You are invited to connect deeply with your money. To begin saying thank you for both the money that flows in and the money that flows out. To let this be a litmus test to determine if you are really inviting money in and investing your money in ways that support the world you most want to inhabit. 

Want to share? I would love to hear what happens when you play with blessing your inflow and your outflow. 

your money loving guidess

Going to the Source

It was the year my husband went to Afghanistan. 

I knew that year I was going to take time every damn day for me. To do the things that I love. And I did. I hiked, I meditated outdoors. I danced. I talked to my guides and I spent time with dear friends. I slept more and worked less. Yes, I worried about my husband, but I did everything in my power to fill my cup and keep it full to overflowing.

I spent my play time almost entirely outdoors. I hadn't spent so much time outdoors since I was a child. Frankly, after living in Rome and then the D.C. area, I was itching to spend time outdoors in a place that wasn't a) totally polluted and crowded and b) ridden with biting bugs. The mountains I hiked in spoke to me - I felt this incredible connection with my habitat that was reassuring and enlivening.

It felt so good to let go of the conditions that I had placed on myself to work hard, be more, do more, generate more.

The results astonished me. 

First and foremost, financially? My profits more than doubled. I was way more relaxed around my business. I did what felt good, what lit up my heart and I had so much fun doing it. But I worked a lot less. Because remember? I was also very much committed to taking exquisite care of myself and my daughter while my husband was away.

More interesting to me than even the profits doubling was my growing sense of abundance - an abundance of time, of energy, of resources within me and around me. The sense of "not enough" I had always felt at a visceral level just went away.

For the first time since childhood, I knew and felt enough. Not just enough, more than enough.

Finding my Source. 

I would have believed the growing sense of enough came from all the healing I've done and measures I've taken to Get Right with Money, but when we moved to Hawai'i and the honeymoon was over and everyone returned to work, I started staying inside, hunched in front of my computer, hell bent on doing all sorts of busy work and placing conditions (once again) on my time. I wasn't playing, I wasn't connecting to the nature within and around me.

The pervasive ache of not enough returned. 

I found myself buying programs and coaching sessions driven by a desire to want a fix - no longer inspired exclusively by love. Profits went down, that endless hungry feeling came back. I felt a deep sense of lack and I wasn't feeling that trust in my inner resources.

Living from my natural abundance.

The joyful end to this story is that I recognized rather quickly that my access point, my source to connect to the natural abundance within and all around happens outdoors.  So I went outside and that hunger abated and the feeling of more than enough returned. When I am consciously connected with earth in all her glory, I know at a visceral level that I have everything I need, I can create everything I desire, and that there is and I am more than enough.

Finding your source is essential.

And, believe me, it's a fierce revolution you will wage to find, and stay connected, to your source. Everything about our culture wants you to stay asleep. To keep consuming, to continue believing that you must have this thing and the next and that you can finance it for zero percent down. The message is loud and clear: abundance = money and more stuff (and I will say here, that I am in no way saying it's NOT important. It is. I adore my money.) and that to have more money you have to work harder and longer.

But guess what? The more you sit in that chair staring at your computer, the more you want to buy shit you don't need to "treat" yourself for working so damn hard. And guess what? Sitting in front of a computer kills your creative energy, too so guess what? You probably aren't going to do your most brilliant work.  And you're going feel like you aren't enough because on some level, you aren't. You aren't truly your most brilliant, beautiful, more-than-enough self unless you are consciously, actively connecting to YOUR source of abundance every day and that feeling of not enough is just begging you to connect back to your source of abundance.

On some level, we all know this.

No matter how many times we hear it, or tell ourselves, or see the evidence - we still do it. We still walk away from ourselves. And when I say "we" I really mean it. Because I do it, too. We sit down and think, "I'm going to work harder to make more money and THEN, THEN, THEN when THAT happens, then I will go out and swim with dolphins or hike with the mountain goats or mediate in my favorite field or go to ecstatic dance or get out the paints."

"THEN" never comes but "not enough" doesn't leave - until you connect with your innate, lush, source of abundance.

The imperative invitation to you.

Whatever you keep waiting to do, do it now. Whatever conditions you've falsely set for yourself, drop them. Because here's the thing. Those activities that you put off, those moments of connection that take a back seat? They hold the key to finding and living from your source. I don't know what your source of abundance is, but I know you've got one and I know for sure that the enough-ness, the clarity, the energy and the innate wealth your source offers you is going to rock your world in every way.

Find Your Source.

Seek until you find it. It's nearby, calling to you, waiting for you to arrive.


Solving a Better Problem

I was very good at solving the 'not enough' problem.

Over and over again, monthly - if not every two weeks - I found myself filled with fear and the rush that would come with scrambling around, finding money, paying bills, shuffling debt around. Then I would reward myself with mindless spending on stuff that I didn't really want or need, perpetuating the cycle when the money would run out and the credit card bill would arrive.

Fear, panic and the question, "Why does this keep happening?" before I would dive into solving the "not enough" problem. Again.

I made a commitment to change.

One day, I decided that what was happening was ridiculous. I am a CPA, I am a smart woman AND truly, there is way more than enough money flowing to me and around me. This endless cycle of scarcity was nonsense and I committed to change. I committed to connecting with my money through tracking, paying off my debt and becoming a woman who invests.

In relatively short order, I was able to pay off all of our credit debt and my car (it took four months) to the tune of roughly $40,000 - it was so exciting! I felt so good about solving this problem of paying off debt and beginning to invest. I was vigilant with my money. I made it happen. I celebrated, it was exhilarating!

But I needed a different problem to solve.

The first month that I had no debt to pay and extra money to invest, I felt utterly deflated. Weird, huh? I felt completely let down. Restless inside my skin, I signed up for some programs and bought some clothes and, you may have guessed, I put it on my credit card.

I fell into a bit of a panic. What was wrong with me?

I took a deep breath and I sat down with myself. I felt into the feeling of being deflated. I explored the desire to run up the credit cards again.

My innate problem solving and get things done energy didn't have a job to do. I had spent so many years using my problem solving on the emergency of "not enough" that I had become addicted to the adrenaline of that particular problem. So of course I found myself drifting back into creating the same problem that I was used to solving and creating that familiar adrenaline rush.

It turns out, nothing was wrong with me - I just needed something new to put my energy toward.

Moving from fear to love, aka: a better problem.

I'm not going to lie. Transitioning from the adrenaline rush of solving the problem of not enough money felt.... weird. A little flat. It felt uncomfortable to not gnaw on my money issues like a dog with a meaty bone.

I was left with this odd sensation - a void, really, that needed to be filled with... something. But what? So I gave my inner problem solver something new to work on: building wealth. Something that had always felt way out of reach - something for other people, but not me. My new problem began as building financial wealth, but the desire and the question grew larger. How can I solve the problem of creating a life filled with riches on every level? Now that is a juicy problem to solve, yes? One with questions that are inspired by curiosity, love and enthusiasm.

Strangely, I still miss the adrenaline rush that comes with the "not enough" problem, but I will tell you, the amount of energy that I have to engage with my life in all that ways that are meaningful to me (instead of being stuck in a spin cycle around "not enough") has been astonishing in it's far reaching affects.

I've found that it's much more fun to get my adrenaline rush surfing, diving with sea turtles, hiking in jungles, working with clients that take my breath away or having deeply honest conversations with the people I love most.

Making the shift to a better problem.

So let's do this thing, okay? What's the problem that you keep bumping up against over and over? It's time to shift to a better problem, don't you think?

  • Commit, with love. Without love and compassion for yourself and the pattern you are struggling with, you may not be capable of seeing just how brilliant you are. You will likely continue judging yourself. However, you will find yourself more motivated and inspired to find a better problem to solve when you stop flogging yourself for doing the same thing over and over again.
  • The struggle is real - our bodies DO get addicted to the rush of adrenaline. So instead of assuming that you are just fucked up and can't get your shit together, step back and notice. What's really true? I'm betting you are an expert at solving the problem you keep running up against. I was really good at solving the "not enough" problem - I had practiced for years!! As you change your patterns, be prepared for the let down of success and make sure you've got a new kind of problem (the kind that opens up your world) ready.
  • New, better problems = new possibilities. Emerging from the endless cycle of not enough has opened up a whole new world of experiences and possibilities. My nervous system is so much calmer these days that I have taken up sports that I thought were crazy before (like surfing), I said HELL YES to a move to Africa with my husband (also something I never thought I would do) and I am well-versed with our investments and our long term desires for ourselves, financially. There is so much more joy, so much more adventure and so much more life that I can really live. All because of crafting a better problem to solve.

Solving a better problem lets you off the hook.

The stress of being caught in the not enough cycle is hellacious. Being caught in ANY cycle that has you constantly in a state of panic and fear decreases the life force that you have available for doing your greatest work and living your most amazing and rich life.

Byron Katie's famous question, "Who would you be without that thought?" comes to mind. Frankly, with beliefs that drive such deep patterns, I think it's hard to imagine what it could possibly be like. I will tell you though, from this side of the question, it's more amazing than I ever thought possible. It will be for you, too.

Your invitation: find a better problem to solve

Maybe you are caught solving the "not enough" problem. Or the "not charging what I'm worth" problem. Or maybe even the "running up debt" problem...

Make the commitment and take action with love. Solve the current problem, as you so brilliantly know how to do. And be ready, be set, with a better problem to solve - make it a problem driven by your desires and filled with possibility that will open up your mind, your heart and your life to a whole new level of meaning and magic.

I wonder what thrilling places your life will take you when you are solving better problems?

Ready? Let's go.