The Co-Creative Path of Becoming

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Depths & Hard Edges

The depths and edges of our discontent, the tension we feel between how things ARE and how we want them to be, urge us toward transformation, toward change. Our pain shapes us into the people we are, and, if we choose to say yes, our pain will shape us into the people we are meant to be.

The Path We Walk

Saying yes to accepting suffering as a teacher and guide clears the path, moving us toward possibility, toward wholeness and yes, toward joy - toward deep and abiding joy. This is a tremendous gift as well as a great paradox — no one asks for the trauma, the wounding or the circumstances that create such profound suffering (yeah, no thanks). We wouldn’t wish it on anyone else, would we?

However, the pain and suffering we experience because we are alive and we are human is an invitation to a co-creative dance of becoming who we truly are and who we are meant to be.

I don’t believe that life is suffering, as the Buddha said.

But I do believe pain and heartache is part of being alive and our suffering can show us the way home to our beloved selves. I believe that life is precious and that we have more capacity for joy than we can possibly comprehend — a joy that is not available until we can surrender to, and study under, the inevitable pain of being alive.

Deep, tempered joy and appreciation are the natural outcome of accepting pain, challenges and hardship as part of living (instead of pushing them away). Seeing beauty and love everywhere is inevitable when you know, at a bone-deep level, that the prerequisite for ease on the co-creative path of becoming is welcoming your whole experience.

You can kick and rail against it, pretend it isn’t there, but your suffering, and the heart-break of the world are waiting patiently for you to heed the call and step onto the co-creative path of becoming.

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” -Pema Chodron


Practice: self-compassion
Poem: The Guesthouse by Rumi
Flower Essence Ally: Star of Bethlehem
Tarot Card: Death

xo.nona

There is no "fix"

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Let me read this post for you {7 min, 14 sec}

You do not require "fixing"

You are not a machine. You are not a toaster with a faulty heating element. There is no final, steady state of perfection, transcendence or even plain old goodness to keep reaching for. You are brilliant, wise, and you shine so bright when I see you -- I wish you believed what you really, deep down, know is true: this brilliance, your brilliance, is the real deal. 

No matter how much I say this, no matter how much I repeat this, I know that it's hard to hear in the swirl and roar of airbrushed images, affirmations that attempt to elevate you above your flaws, and the subsequent hangover cures peddled to everyone who is trying to distance themselves from their lack of perfection. 

I think I'm lucky. I have always been stubborn as a mule. When people who had my "best interests at heart" steered me toward the path of least resistance, I could only stomach that crap for about 14 years. It nearly killed me to drink my way through the darkness of trying to do what was expected of me (which is actually code for "continuous striving for perfection that will always fail"). 

Humanity is the light and the beauty

And, I know firsthand how much work it takes to live into this truth, which can seem like you are trying to fix something in you that is fundamentally flawed. That's not it -- it's more like chipping away at old paint that was put on beautiful hardwood in a misguided attempt to beautify something that is incomparable in it's natural, stunning beauty. 

It's not a fix that you are seeking, it's restoration of your innate wholeness to your conscious awareness. A revealing of (and reveling in) your natural light and beauty, one sweet layer at a time. Your true nature, your soul, your Essence of beauty, truth, light, love and joy is intact. The luminous core of you is undamaged and on some level, you know it. You can feel it because no matter how much paint you might layer on, somehow the natural grain of the wood is still there, still visible. 

One layer at a time

With every fiber of my being I believe that we are, at our core, divine. That we are, in fact, embodied, divine soul. That our human experience is exactly what we are here for, not some hyped up idea of "transcendence" that is just another face of the impossible search for perfection. 

What our souls really long for is the messy, real and true experience of being human -- engagement with terrible and difficult challenges, experiencing the incredible joy of creativity, feeling our hearts break open again and again as we move through the world with countless other beings (some we love, some we like, some, well... great teachers), the awe and wonder of living in a world that is so alive, so beautiful and terrible in equal measure that it inspires us. The tears and pain, the laughter and joy, the triumph and yes, even the defeat. The list goes on. Our lives on earth are precious, our capacity and desire for aliveness, immense.

Please.

Drop any ideas of perfection. Stop looking for a "fix" (god, looking for a fix is like looking for a "fix" as an addict, isn't it?) Let go of the idea of attainment. Or being some kind of goddess. Strip away anything anything other that who you are: a unique expression of the divine living deep and wide in the human experience. Perfectly imperfect. Held and nourished by our great Mother Earth, celebrated by the angels and devas throughout the Universe, infinitely loved and supported by the Divine. 

Peel off the paint, reveal the luminous beauty at the core of your being; at the core of your humanity. Show me your quirks, your fears, your mistakes and your triumphs. Let me see the stains from the tears and the scars born from love, from play and yes, the incredibly strong scars from the wounds inflicted by others. 

This is how we belong to ourselves. This is how we belong to the world. One tender layer of Truth revealed at a time.

Show me the very Truth of your being

My sister, this is so much larger than you, than me. This is what you need. This is what I need. This is what we need, collectively, to reconnect with our Truest Nature as individuals and as a collective. We crave Truth. We long for radiance to be revealed. This is how we know ourselves, and each other. This is how we remember who we truly are.

When you reveal your True self you restore something precious to your own life, yes, but the ripples are infinite. Don't doubt the power your own healing and restoration has on the world at large, my sister -- don't doubt the power of knowing and celebrating your own wholeness. 

Hear me now.

You are brilliant, wise, and you shine so bright in your messy and oh so human experience -- embrace what you really, deep down, know is true: this brilliance, your brilliance, is the real deal. Stop. Trying. To. Fix. Yourself. You are not broken, you are beautifully and brilliantly and divinely human. 

And truly, I love that about you. 

xo.nona

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Photo credit: Natalya Letunova on Unsplash

Love Made Visible

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For the sensitive, empathic woman with Work to do.

I see the ways that you've pushed yourself out into the world to the point of exhaustion, I see the way that you've been cruel to yourself in the face of your own needs, I see the way that you've tried to bend your impulses and energy to the will of the world. I see how you continue to question yourself and what you know is true. 

Take a deep breath.

Do you notice how profound the stress is in your body when you send a post or share an offer? Or, have you simply stopped trying or on the converse side, have you simply stopped paying attention as you push into the world in ways that go against your nature? Perhaps you swing between these two extremes, unsure of where to find your way. It is so deeply impactful to share your tender bits and offers with the world, isn't it? Be gentle with you.

Because the world needs you.

I don't want you to give up or push yourself to do what you "think" you should. As a sensitive, empathic woman who wants to be in the world making a contribution and enjoying it, I say that for every external event or expression, you have to find the equal and opposite deep internal reset and restoration.

No, you are not flawed. I promise.

I used to behave as if this need (which I've know about my whole life) was a flaw that needed to be ignored at all costs and that if I honored that impulse, I would be selfish. I followed that train of thought to my own detriment. Perhaps you can relate. 

I now know this is my own natural rhythm -- and to do my work in the world and not end up "taking care of myself" in dysfunctional, addictive ways, I must attune to my own rhythm. I must drink deeply of the practices that truly nourish me.

Only then am I able to express and share what I'm meant to. Only then am I in harmony with the beautiful inhale and exhale of giving and receiving. Only them am I honoring the truth of the way my innate wealth is meant to move in the world.

If you've read this far, I'm guessing this may be true for you, too. 

"Work is love made visible." -Kahlil Gibran

The way that you create, is the way that your wealth moves out into the world and there must be a devotion to this: Sacred Practices that let your expression be clear and true to your essence. But the other side of the equation (often ignored) is equally, if not more important, for you: the receiving. The receiving is a devotion to the Sacred Practices of tending to your energy and your deep needs and your desire for connection to deeper wisdom and truth - to let that feed and nourish you.

For your work to be the fullness of your love made visible, you must be receiving as much as you are giving. These two energies, in tension, are what allow you to create from overflowing, heart-opening, love. 

Honor the truth of how your innate wealth is meant to move in the world: expansion and contraction, giving and receiving, action and stillness. You have my full permission to offer yourself the depth and breadth of Sacred Practices that will support you, nourish you, and leave you full. 

The world, in fact, needs you. 

Do whatever it takes to make sure you can, and will, be able to live your dream of service and contribution in the most joyful and grounded way possible.